Hey Pink Nerds,
School was totally awful. There's this girl at my school who is friends with all of my friends, but she hates me. I swear that I try my best to be super nice, but I am not invinsible, I can break. I tell her "I like your hat!" and she ackwardly says thanks and then gives me dirty looks and talks to me with awfully rude tones in her voice. Finally, she seemed to losen up but when I completely accidently got her out in four square and said "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" she said "You're so not sorry." and then bumped into me as she walked past. Some of my friends give me sorry looks when stuff like that happends but I know they don't care enough to say or do anything. The thing that hurts the most is that I know I'm not, and never will be, any of my friends' first pick. If I ask any of my friends to sit with me but then another one of their friends ask at the exact same time, they'll chose the other friend. I know that they're not trying to be mean but I can never walk away from them feeling better than before I talked to them. I do know that not all of my friends are like this though, I just don't want to name them. All day I'm pretty sure they thought I was being a jerk and a downer simply because I wanted to but they don't understand. Most of my friends all got into Canterbury or Colonel By and I'm not going to either. The friends that are going to the same high school as me will obviously pick the girl that hates me, instead of me. So on my first day of high school, I'm gonna be the loner. The most I've ever been happy this year is for one day. I've cried 7 times on the bus home and over 12 at home because of someone at school. I'm sorry if this is making you all bored or if you think I'm being a pessimist but I can't hold any of this in anymore! I am at a breakingpoint and I'm about to explode. Everyday there is at least one point where I feel like bursting into tears or punching someone in the face, or even both! But at least, today, something made me feel better...
When I called Emma to talk to her about it all, she was busy. At first it made me sad but then she said it was because she was packing for South Carolina!!! If you missed the blog post where I mentioned this; I am going to South Carolina this March break too! When I first found out I was going to South Carolina, I must admit I wasn't all that excited. Usually, when we go on vacation someone in my family goes mad. But I think my perspective changed today. I do believe that I had reason to do all that complaining in the paragraph above ^^ but I do know that I need to be a little bit more optimistic. So now, I am just looking forward to going South and being warm, getting time away from the people at my school, and maybe just getting to relax.
The second thing that made me feel a bit better is the fact that I have youth group tonight! As much as I do not like being mixed in with another youth group now, I do get to see another person who can always make me feel better. I don't think I have to say the name for my friends to know who I'm talking about ;) Anyway, I need to go and make dinner now!
Bai Bai Pink Nerds,
Meaghan ♥
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